#1: Jorts

There's no excuse for wearing, or for that matter even owning, a pair of jorts.

Really, just think about the rationale one goes through before putting on a pair of these short, blue, bun-huggers: "I want to wear these Levis jeans to my brother and his cousin's wedding because denim is super fancy.  However, it's hot outside and I'm concerned about the heat generated in my crotch-al region if I wear long pants.  Oh, I got it.  Why don't I combine the fanciness of a pair of jeans with the comfort of shorts? Voila, jorts."

Despite being laughed at by pretty much everyone, these shorts continue to be sold and worn by certain undesirables in American society.  Such as this man:

"Hey, are you guys on Myspace?"