#2: Goldfish
Pets make perfect sense. Pets symbolize man's dominion over beast. Also, pets will wait all day for you, greet you at the door when you come home, and then you can play with them.
Goldfish provide none of these benefits. They just swim around in a old glass jar with some strange aquarium plants and rock gardens. I'm pretty sure they'd be blissfully unaware of your existence, with the sole exception of you remembering to sprinkle in their tank, what looks like to you, Fruity Pebbles.
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